Well, my college life has come to an end and I am almost a graduate. ALMOST. I have spent five precious years in one of the most famous colleges of Mumbai, and no, it does really make you feel great or famous or proud. I think I would've been the same if I would've been studying in any other university. Seems pretty depressing I know. But well, truth, IS depressing.
So my college has two kinds of teachers. Yes, I am pretty discrimatory that way.
1)The ones who encourage you and are understanding and empathetic towards your horrible schedules &
2)the ones who think Bachelors of Commerce is the most honorable degree designed by the Mumbai University and we are not allowed to lift our faces from our textbooks and apparently we are not allowed to have a life.
With all due respect the first kind, the below note is for the second type.
Also, you will understand the feeling behind every incident only if you are from my college, or to be more specific, from my class or if we share the same subject teachers.
You might feel I am harsh, disrespectful and cynical but well - welcome to my world *wink*
Here you go.
Hello Sir,
We will not greet you Good morning because it precisely, wholly and solely because of you that our mornings suck donkey balls. No, it is not cool to come and lay your bum in the class at 6.45 for a 7 am lecture. No, we do not want to know the benefits of sleeping early and waking up early. You are old, we are not. We have a life. Remember?
When you don’t let us enter the class, when we are 4 mins late – we do not see you as a strict disciplinary who does not want any kind disturbance while he is teaching, we take you as a psychotic attention seeking sadist who gains immense pleasure when kids beg for attendance.
And yes, giving assignments and 432 sums for homework everyday is not going to be appreciated. We will either copy it from your favorite nerd of the class or in most cases, not do it at all. Because we do not go home and sleep after office hours. There is something known as The Institute of Chartered Accountants of India which pushes us to work everyday with tally backups and messed up clients, and we are expected to calculate the amount of tax to be paid and whether TDS is deducted at the correct rate and if all disclosures have been made. What fun no ? No.
When you realize, that we are not picking up a particular concept and are sitting with duck faces in class – PLEASE STOP TEACHING!! Yes – STTOOPPPPP!!! Too much information and too many sums makes basic terms seem like quantum physics to us. Completing your portion two weeks before the exams is not as important as making sure that auditing standards and pricing strategies are permanently drilled in our heads is.
If your grammar is incorrect, we WILL make fun of you. If your pronunciations are improper, you WILL be laughed at. You are our teacher and you HAVE to be perfect. At everything. No excuses will be taken.
If you think you can frighten us by screaming “Your 40 marks are in my pocket” – I would like you to know that you are highly mistaken. You’ve already eaten them up and hence that bloated stomach. We are not two year old infants who will pee in our pants while you scare us but twenty year old rebels who will punch you in the face if you dare to mess with our marks on personal grounds.
Lastly, for all those times when you confiscated our beloved baby cell phones and made us rush to the principal and beg and cry and made us five hundred bucks to get them back – we will NEVER forgive you. We take you as vilifying beggars who collect money from students to construct those humongous 78-storyed commercial plazas
We hope that the above letter would bring some positive changes in you and in the functioning of our esteemed college and we shall pray for the young chickens who will seek admission in your benevolent institution in the years to come.
Yours,
Ex-student
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