4am Revelations.

18th February, 2012,

4.13 am

Here, I am, halfway through a chilly night trying to navigate my twisted thoughts and crumpled feelings to a direction leading to a destination where they wont be hurt again. Or wait, did someone mention life is all about the journey and not about the destination ? Well. 

No, I am not writing this note because it is going to be up on my blog (who cares about my douse blog anyway) . This note is explicitly being written to comfortably burt out all the wiggling perceptivity and distorted theories that have been piling up in my not-so-existent nincompoop brain after my flabbergasting 3-month-old baby relationship came to an abrupt end.

You know that feeling when you do something even after being fully aware and warned, that this very action of your's is going to come back and brutally hit you thereby injuring your sanity, your peace of mind, your comfort level and most importantly the functioning of your petite little heart. But you still go ahead and do it. You don't restrict yourself. You don't stop yourself from falling in the deep brunt. Why?


Because, a wise man once said, "Life is about living in the moment. Do what makes you happy and the rest will fall in place automatically". I don't even know if this was really said by a wise man or by a voice in my head.
You cannot curse the relationship and crib about how and why it ended so irrationally. Because, the hopelessly optimistic me has learnt to cherish, value and abide by the gratifying things that it gave. The goodness and happiness it brought, the experience of doing things you had never done before, the fortitude of sneaking out of office for that special someone and of course how comfortably you left behind everything of your's and moved towards his/her sphere of friends and family because you believed that "This is it".


Falling madly in love did give you a lot of delirium, ecstasy & jubilation - but falling out of love does not mean we give up on every being and not give life a second chance. I know it is easier said than done. Did we stop learning to ride the bicycle when we fell down innumerable times and scratched our knees and hands ? No. We did not.Do we give up on education if we flunk a class ? No. We in fact study harder in the next attempt. So why do we give up so easily when we fail the test of love?


Floundered and fizzled love can only mean that somewhere a grander plan is being chalked out for you and that you are going to be part of a prettier picture in the near future.Sulking away will only keep you distant from the better scheme of things waiting for you. Might as well adore what happened, learn from your mistakes, try not repeating them in future and move on. Because you have only one life which is too short to hold on to grudges. The story of my heartbreak still haunts me. It has captured my mind and is there to stay. But I believe that this too shall pass. All I need is a little patience and a little courage and a little push to move on. 

~Dum-dar-dum-dar-jashn-jashn-dum-dar-dum-dar-jashn-jashn, sun mere humdum, hamesha ishq mein hi jeena~

Disclaimer : The narration above, is the story of a girl named Lovely who is a third year literature student. Her favorite song is "Bijli giraane mein hu aayi" and she has promised that she will now follow the path she thinks is right and focus on her career and make her life beautiful and keep the key to her happiness in her own pocket.